don't understand !!!

I don’t understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do. How your best friend can become your worst enemy, or how strange it is when your worst enemy turns into your best friend. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without. How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same. How the people you once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.

How things would change??

As I entered the four walls of office for the first time I was gripped with a strange feeling that how things would change. I could sense the burden of responsibilities on my shoulder and feel the breeze of seriousness around.


Right from the entrance everything was different. The iron gates of college changed to the robotic ones. The ever smiling security guards(mama) changed to surveillance cameras and access cards. Employee id took the place of roll number. Trainers took the place of teachers and Boss was the new principal. My quoted T-shirt and torn jeans were replaced by formal shirts and trousers :( . The colors of life changed to commercial blues and blacks and the only designs dominating are horizontals and verticals. Comfort breaks were my only bunks and lectures took form of training sessions. College katta will now be enclosed to AC cafeteria.



However as after every night comes a day, after all the minuses comes the plus. Now there won't be monthly reporting of expenses to dad, as my pocket money would change to salary. All my clothes in the wardrobe will get a label and even I would own the Zod's and the Blackberries. My prepaid number would change to postpaid and extra lectures would be termed as paid overtimes. Now there won't be late night boozing but official Corporate Parties.


From boy next door I will be the Eligible Bachelor and will be watching movies on Friday nights instead of early morning shows at multiplexes...

How things would change???

Relationship !!!!

Last month I bought a suave new Laptop. And God, I was so hyper about it? All through the next one week I kept exploring its features to the maximum (carrying it wherever I went!!!). But as the time passed I didn’t seem as interested and excited as I was when I just bought it. It was just then I thought, I’ll probably see my hyper-self again when I lay my hand on another gadget.







I think there is a latent lesson in relationship here. And the more I thought about it, the more the answers to what makes a relationship click or bleak grew on me.

Yes, I am Wrong !!!!

Saturday 7th February'09

I came to this city, though no one wanted me to,
I was WRONG.

I did engineering, though I didn't want to,
I was WRONG.

I roamed around with my friends, though my conscious didn't want to,
I was WRONG.

I neglected my studies, though my teachers didn't want me to,
I was WRONG.

I met this girl and spent all the time with her, though my friends didn't want me to,
I was WRONG.

I proposed her, though my brain didn't want me to,
I was WRONG.

I wanted to marry her, though my parents didn't want me to,
I was WRONG.

I broke with her, though my heart didn't want me to,
I was WRONG.

I didn't move on, though everyone wanted me to,
I was WRONG.

I am lonelt today, though I don't want to,

COS I AM WRONG !!!!!!!

IT HAPPENS !!!!!!!!!

The marriage was to begin from 8 pm. It was 5 in the evening; Jenny started getting ready. Rohit called, he asked Jenny to wear the pretty white dress that he had gifted her. Jenny stood in front of the mirror, gently combing her. The sun rays entered through the window bathing the whole room in soft golden light. The tears in her eyes made her eyes sparkle and look very beautiful. “What an irony!” she thought, “these eyes shine more when they cry” She then looked at her reflection in the mirror; indeed she looked beautiful in this white dress, just as Rohit had mentioned. “What an irony!” she smiled and whispered to herself. Today, Rohit, the only man she ever loved, was getting married. Rohit wanted Jenny, his best friend, to attend his wedding though Jenny tried very hard to avoid this wedding, after all how could she see her love going away from her, forever, and still keep smiling, keep pretending to be happy. But all in vain, Rohit would not listen to any excuse. Tears were rolling down Jenny’s cheek. She felt like a corpse being dressed up in the best clothes just before the burial. And perhaps it was true because for her the world had come to an end. The cuckoos had returned to their nest on the branches and were singing very beautifully. The others birds too were singing as if joining the chorus. Life sometimes has such a bitter sense of humor.

Jenny reached at Rohit’s place. Rohit was all prepared for the biggest event, and his happiness was very evident on his face. Rohit wore a very elegant sherwaani. Jenny saw Rohit, she was captivated by his appearance, and stood there staring at him for a second or two before coming back to her senses. She congratulated Rohit. Rohit was having problems wearing the turban (pagdhi) as his spectacles kept falling off whenever he adjusted his turban. Jenny helped him wear it. She was now standing so close to him. She so desperately wanted to touch him, at least one last time. The turban got adjusted; Rohit now looked like a handsome prince. His mom came in she was beaming with happiness as her son looked so handsome. Rohit introduced his mom to Jenny. His mom looked at Jenny; it was a peculiar gaze, full of happiness, awe, and hesitation. And why wouldn’t that be, because Rohit always kept talking about Jenny. Rohit’s family and relatives initially thought that Rohit was in a relationship with Jenny. One day his mom asked him about his relationship with Jenny. “Mom! Jenny is my best friend, that’s it nothing more, nothing less” Rohit replied “besides; she is a Christian and a non vegetarian. If I marry her not only will we be having cultural clashes in our house but also food crisis. She can’t have food without non-vegetarian dish and you can’t bear non – vegetarian food.”

Mom had brought the photographer along. He wanted to click photographs of Rohit for the wedding album. The photographer asked Rohit to stand sideways and look where Jenny was standing. Rohit was now looking at Jenny. She wanted to look at him straight into his eyes, to show him how much she loved him, and yet she was feeling so shy in opening herself up this way. She knew this was the only private moment that she will ever have with Rohit and yet with all the other people around, she was feeling shy. Jenny would look into Rohit’s eyes for a fraction and then divert her gaze. Rohit was steadily gazing at her, whether it was because the photographer had asked him to or because he had sensed something in her; Jenny would never know but for her that was not important, what was important was this moment, when Rohit’s eyes saw only her and nothing else. She did not want to lose it and every now and then look into Rohit’s eyes. “Now please look straight in the camera and smile” the photographer said, Rohit shifted his pose and was now looking in camera. Jenny felt suffocated and went and stood by the window, Rohit would not let her go out of the room. He wanted his best friend to be by his side on this day. “Hurry up Rohit! The baarat is waiting for you” Rohit’s mom said.

The baarat reached the venue. Rohit was sitting on the stage surrounded by his friends and relatives. The bride came on the stage with a garland in her hands. She was wearing traditional red colored dress with lots if jewelry. Indeed the bride looked very beautiful, and the couple looked very pretty together. The couple soon exchanged their garlands; all the relatives came and congratulated them. Jenny too went and congratulated the couple. “So finally we meet” the bride said, “I have heard so much about you from Rohit that it appears that I have known you for ages”. Jenny smiled, she did not say anything.

Jenny reached home at around 4 am. She could not sleep and went out to take a stroll on the sea shore. A gentle breeze was blowing; she could hear the sound of the waves. They seemed like lullaby that a mother sings to ease her baby’s pain. Jenny took off her sandals. Every now and then a wave would come and touch her feet. Jenny walked a few steps into the sea and sat down. She started crying, the time she had spent with Rohit, all those big and small moments flashed before her eyes. Jenny picked up a rock and threw it with all her might in to the sea. Her hands searched for another rock but this time all she could get was a fist full of sand. She clenched her fists very tight, as if not wanting to let the sand to go. She hid her face between her knees and started sobbing incessantly. Every now and then a wave would come and stroke her hands gently as if asking her to release the grip and every time Jenny would tighten her grip even more…
Posted by piiyush at 6:36 AM