Although my blog is
written with a men's perspective, I don’t deny the struggles of women.
Divorce
should never be your first option, nor should it be your second. But when there is nowhere
else to turn to get yourself back, divorce can sometimes be the only option
left. It can save you from the pain that
you were never meant to feel for the rest of your life.
Even though divorce
numbers are going up by the day - it is still a Taboo in Indian society no
matter how educated or 'forward' we are.
Marriage is
considered so holy in India that if anyone talks about divorce he is looked at
as a third rated criminal.
Never mind how
unhappy couples are, they are expected to just stay together and have a smile
on your face & play nice for world to see.
It's
not easy for anyone be it a girl or a boy. Everyone faces certain challenges and issues
depending upon the circumstances:
Are
you young or in advanced age?
Are
you in a metro or a small town?
Was
the relationship too hard before it broke or just snapped without much
struggle?
- The girl just left without much drama about money and other allegations
Are
you on your own or with family (Parents?)
Let's see a typical day of one such divorced bachelor ;)
6.45 AM: Alarm rings. Snoozes it, hug it and back to sleep.
It's both. It doesn't hug you
back. On the other hand, it doesn't refuse to let you hug it either.
7:00AM: Wake up. Head to bathroom. The seat can be up or down,
doesn't matter. If its broken, just put it there for now, and fix it over next
weekend or the next one.. or the next..
7:30 AM: Get tea. If mom's around, she will make it. If not,
make the tea (It's really a big deal considering the probability that Milk is
available). Have tea and read newspaper, another round of tea, all quite.
Barely any words spoken yet.
8:30 AM: Hit the shower. Put all your laundry for washing. (When
mom's not around), adjust your office timing to accommodate maid's timing.
Nothing new here. Used to do it when I a bachelor.
9:15 AM: Get to work, catch up with people.. start work..
somewhere between 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM: in a middle of drafting
email or a meeting or something. I am
going to die alone. How is this going to turn out. Where was I wrong.
Why…' take a break. Head for another round tea (read smoke). Same
thoughts going on… in 15 mins, some will join you and divert your thoughts.. so
you heard the news? About #Brexit, someone leaving office, boss wanted those
presentations….' back to reality. Back to work.
4:00 PM: Panic attack round 2. Same routine as morning.
6:30 PM: That's it. I don’t want to do this crazy work anymore.
I am calling it a day. Why should I work like this? I don't have anyone to earn
for. I should just quit this circus and do something better.
ab ghar ja kar kya karunga? Sit
in car for 10 mins and try to figure out, if you can think of someplace to go.
7:30 PM: Park your car, walk to the local tea joint. Enjoy tea,
smoke, lost in your thoughts. Speak to no one. No one calls you to check where
are you.
8:00 PM:
(if mom's around)
What for dinner?
Mom: xyz.
You: what crap, you make what you wish, never cook what I like.
Too spicy or no spicy... blah blah blah…
(whatever be the topic of fight
it boils down to: Just leave my home and go, it's all your fault.)
Mom: don't put your blame on me. You screwed up. Blah blah blah.
(if mom's not around)
Put on TV.. nothing interesting.
Put a channel that has something with loudest noise and minimum
nuisance value and walk away (Some music channel usually).
Call home.. Give Daily updates.. Crib about all the things in
the world.
Dinner time.. Check if maid has cooked or eat out? Or order?
Too many options... Fridge has some things, but I don't want to
eat this.
Wish someone else could just
decide what to eat.
Idea. Let me first take that
laundry for ironing and decide about dinner on the way.
9:00 PM: Buy Beer on the way back from laundry (its “just a
little off“ the way) and Damn! That a hot girl. Sulk. You are going to be alone. There. That
sure wasted my beer. Now I need another pint.
10:00 PM: Just eat whatever is there. It's not like you are a
health freak but essentially eat what is
convenient and justify to yourself).
10:00 – 1 AM: (TV/net time)
If TV:
Watch TV and think 'what the hell am I going do with my life?
How the hell am I going to live like this. Life is so difficult. How the hell
are all these guys able to manage it.
Saala bacha adopt kar leta hu?
Par usko paalunga kaise akele?'
If Net:
Go to Quora, read for an hour.. get bored. Another social site
for a while. Get bored. See Facebook updates, sulk.
1 AM:
Where’s the mobile let me check if I have any messages.. Reply
to every damn message on whatsapp(group, no one messages you in person). Doze
off.
AND…
6.45AM -1 AM: Its always at the back of the mind. The voices
just don't stop…..
Some days:
6:30 PM:
Friend calls: Abey, kidhar hain?
Me: office.
Him: lets meet. I am coming. (read: I want to drink. You are
single. You are my company.)
6:30 – 9:30 – 10 PM:
In some bar, him cribbing: my wife and I fought…..blah blah
blah..(marital life crib, same story different
couple)
Weekends:
Nothing much to do: Call friends.. and usually this is how it
goes…
Guy 1: Family thingy.. Shopping
Guy 2: (Separated), he'll
just crib. Forget it
Guy 3: Taking kids out.
Guy 4: Wife out. Me and kids home.. come over.. (read: we are gonna watch pogo.)
Guy 5: (Separated): He's
too weird. Am not meeting him..
And ends up usually with some family friends and discuss where's
the industry heading, the country is heading.
And then mandatory 'shaadi kar
le' talks.
Me: Never again! (It wasn't a
pleasant marriage and it been a very rough divorce. I am not doing it again.)
Hopefully, I will get up some day, with no negative thoughts in
the head and move on with life :)
-- Piyush
