a ray of hOpe !!!

Dear 'Ex',

We don't talk too often anymore. We don't spend nights on the phone wanting to be in each other's arms.

Yet on some lonely nights, I miss those talks. I miss your voice which for some strange reason, sounded sexier in the silence of the night. I miss having the urge to sleep in your arms. I miss comforting you after a nightmare, telling you I will stay on the phone till you sleep again(though i was sleepy). I miss pretending to sleep just to hear the sweet things you'd say and to feel the butterflies when you'd kiss me goodnight before disconnecting the call... 

We don't meet too often anymore. Hell, we barely even see each other on our own will. It is mere co incidence that we happen to cross each other and even then, we behave like the other barely exists.

Yet on some graceful evenings, I miss having you around. I miss walking with you, slipping my fingers lightly into you. I miss being held while crossing the road. I miss being looked at like there was nothing more beautiful that you've ever seen. God I miss you so much........ 

We don't hug anymore. I barely even touch you for a hand shake for your touch scares me now. Yet I miss your warm embrace. I miss how you'd pull me into a hug when I'm upset and say,"I don't know how to make you okay. Just don't be sad" and how I'd laugh at your innocent efforts amidst the frowns. I miss your hearty hug when you'd grab me and I'd have to look for air to breathe when there was some news to rejoice over.

We don't look into each other's eyes anymore. We barely even look at each other all the little times we meet. It is not like we dislike each other now. It is just that we don't want to make it awkward for the other. Yet, I miss being intoxicated by the agonizingly beautiful brown, liquid centered eyes. I miss having to look for support after looking into your eyes. I miss being looked at with those eyes that spoke so much more than you could ever express.

Today, so many days after I said good bye to you, not knowing when I will have you back again, not knowing if that will ever happen. Back then, you were the craziest thing that happened to me. Back then, I thought I couldn't live without you and being attached to you was something I couldn't control. Back then, I believed that we were all that we could be.

I was wrong. I did learn to live without you and I'm happy if not delighted without your constant interference.
Even though I love my life and that I can't ask for anything more, sometimes I do realize that no matter how much I try to deny the fact that you're not important, may be, just may be you do matter and that you're missed.You're still special to me because once upon a time, you meant the world.

Amidst all the differences that broke us apart, I just want you to know, that may be I still love you.. And I know you love me too.. However, I really wish how much that was enough for you to come back..

Sincerely,
Your 'Ex' who still hopes you'd come back someday